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Super Secret TV Listings

Last night my wife wondered if "Monk" would be on TV. That's one of her favorite shows, but she came to it late so has missed many episodes and is always looking for repeats.

Title Last Comment
The evil spirit who pushes my wife's car   2015/04/13 TonyLawrence
- I contend that this magical effect could only be caused by her deliberately turning to the right instead of backing up straight. She disagrees, of course. -

Let's get that router programmed. What router was that?  
- It's a good thing that my customers with guns have a relaxed sense of humor and know me well. This might have become very tense if not. -

The truth about Linux   2014/04/08 SachinGopal
- I have been lying to you. You should NEVER use Linux for anything! Pay attention as I explain why. -

The king is dead, long live Microsoft  
- There are other struggling companies where Ballmer's magic touch might bring back the gold. Of course Apple and Google spring immediately to mind. -

The Seven Layer inedible OSI cake  
- The other day I had to explain the OSI model to a customer. I'm not usually this cruel, but (as they say) he asked for it. -

System Administrator wanted   2013/08/23 TonyLawrence
- System Administrator wanted. Skills needed go far beyond what is listed here, but none of these can be lacking. Ability to explain three or four letter acronyms to upper management IN PLAIN ENGLISH. Ability to explain three or four letter acronyms to upper management IN PLAINER ENGLISH. -

Joe's computer turns 3  
- I'm really excited because soon I may get to run Linux! I have been hoping for that for years and had just about given up on the idea when they tried to install Windows 7 on my drive. -

iPads being delivered today   2012/06/11 TonyLawrence
- Fedex drivers were greeted by the strange sight of geeks rushing out to meet their trucks or already at the curb, bouncing up and down, giddy with excitement. Many a geek inflicted neck strain upon themselves from stretching to see if the Fedex truck was coming. Others were obviously distressed with indecision: should they stand outside awaiting the delivery or go back in and reload the tracking page? Sometimes this problem was solved by keeping children home from school: little geeks-to-be were seen shouting out windows: 'No change, Dad, no change'. -

Is Linux the One True Religion?   2013/06/24 TonyLawrence
- There is only one true religion, though it's impossible to know whether it's Linuxism, BSDism or SysVism -

Super Secret TV Listings  
- I've complained before that both Verizon and Comcast are so anxious to sell that they neglect to make it easy for existing customers to use their website. -

Microsoft move stuns nation  
- saw no reason why their Linuxproducts couldn't match Windows features by being able to roll back to earlier kernel versions. -

Linux fails to meet the needs of real users   2010/11/02 TonyLawrence
- I find deleting items very difficult is there an easy way? -

Choosing your perfect Operating System   2013/07/07 BigDumbDinosaur
- Whatever your personality, whatever your social standing, there is a computer operating system that is just right for you. For example, are you extremely good looking and almost unbelievably cool? Good, I am also. People like us should use Macs, and I don't mean iMacs or iBooks. A Macbook is the minimum computer anyone of our status should consider, and really we deserve a MacBook Pro or MacBook Air. Nothing else carries the same cachet , nothing else speaks to our superior genetics in quite the same way, and anything less would only detract from our well chilled uber-coolness. By the way, the important thing here is ownership: you don't need to USE it; carrying it around is quite sufficient. -

More backup, please  
- There really is no such thing as too much backup - and you need to test, test test to be sure it can restore! -

- Linuxcutioner - responsible for wiping out Windows OS everywhere. -

Seeking Political Asylum - need ride  
- Come and get me - I'm ready to leave this rock! Dear UFOians: I apologize for not knowing how to address you properly - they don't teach us much down here. Or up here, over here: however you think of us in relation to where ever you came from. Come from. Are from. Were from? -

Linksys RV042 VPN  
- I'm a cheaprouter and you are goig to have an unhappy day if I have anything to say about it! -

I am Joe's Computer  
- I remember first powering on at the factory, running through my diagnostics. I though that was all there was then, but soon enough I had a BIOS and found myself running through that code. -

Linux Lunacy  
- Anti-Linux Lunacy: I didn't know that any of these folks had given up and gotten out of the market. It's probably news to other readers, too. I wish they'd take down their websites, don't you? -

LOD Communications, Inc.
No plans for a Mac or Linux version   2013/06/29 BrettLegree
- I understand that some folks don't want to make Linux versions of their apps. But bragging about it tends to turn me off. -

It's not a backslash!   2010/05/11 dave
- It's not a backslash, idiot! Even Microsoft knows that, but radio and tv announceers do not. -

Geeks and Sports  
- Being polite to sports fans, or.. not being polite to them. I sometimes choose the latter. -

10 Reasons you need Vista   2010/04/13 TonyLawrence
- Obviously you need Vista, and now is the time to buy! Don't pay attention to those Mac and Linux fools.. get Vista today! Here are ten reasons to help justify your purchase: -

Wiggle that Mouse  
- Remember, I said this was a while ago - this was System 7 time frame. -

We lost the war  
- Video presentation, satire on Unix Linux vs. Microsoft: (Inspired by Welcome to Unix) -

Phantom Connections  
- Mysterious typing: I had coffee with Mark Jones of Micronet Network Services, Inc this morning. The purpose was to discuss some Unix and Linux customers he has, but of course we started swapping stories and I liked this one so much I had to share it with you -

Plastering your printer  
- Back in the computer room again. I looked at the printer, it was fairly new: in fact I had installed it not very long ago. It certainly didn't have a worn out feed mechanism and obviously it had just printed several pages. As I thought about that, I became aware that the room seemed humid - much more so than it should have been given the temperature. I then noticed the elephant: a freshly plastered wall. I put my hand on it, it wasn't damp, but it was still fairly cold. The manager had followed me. I turned and asked the obvious: "Was this done recently?". She responded affirmatively. -

Tony's Rules for Computer Consultants  
- Best practices for programmers: carry Philips, flat and Torx screwdrivers, a chip puller. a soldering iron and a volt meter. -

The Limousine ride  
- A momentary hero: I was working at home one Friday several years ago when a customer called. Big problem - system down, end of month, president screaming, could I come at once? Well, yes, of course, but.. my car was in the shop for repairs and my daughter was off with my wife's car.. I suppose I could take a cab.. No need, they said. We're sending a car right now to pick you up. He'll be there in twenty minutes. -

Printer Haikus  
- I knew this fine workhorse was not meant to be ignominiously put out to pasture. I gassed up the van and came to it's rescue. -

Don't you dare G**gle!   2013/06/24 TonyLawrence
- Google doesn't want you to G**gle, so certain words that they wouldn't like will be masked. -

The Great Gates-by  
- Is Bill Gates a Saint?: During coffee break at my weekly poker game, the conversation turned to the munificence of the Gates Foundation and its founder. Of course I had to be the naysayer, pointing out that Bill never seemed to have much interest in giving away anything until he got in trouble with the Justice Department. I also suggested that at least some of the money being given away had unpleasant origins in terms of ruthless business deals and so on. -

Please Submit your Open Source Resume in Word  
- Studio B would like your open source resume in Microsoft Word -

Phone vs. Net  
- Find info faster by pnone or internet?: There are phone people and there are Net people. My wife is a phone person, and I am a Net person. -

I hate penguins  
- Ballmer enters Bill's office. Due to our omniscience and the happy circumstance that the top surface is glass, we can see that Bill is hiding under his desk. Our view is from behind the desk, facing Ballmer as he enters. -

It's unplugged, isn't it?  
- A long trip to plug in a terminal: I miss the old green screen terminals. Oh, they weren't always green: some were white screens, and some were a really ugly orange, but they all had the virtue of simplicity. -

Who is Louella Slaton?  
- Why do I keep getting Louella Slaton's email: For some time now, I have been getting email directed to Louella Slaton. That's obviously a mistake both on grounds of gender and appellation, and therefor has been a cause of curiosity for me. Although I do sometimes use made up names for illustrative purposes in articles and other postings, the name "Louella Slaton" has never appeared in any post or correspondence of mine until today. -

Loose cables  
- 'The cable fell off'. I had been asking the person at the other end of the line to hook his computer directly to the Comcast modem, so I naturally assumed he meant the CAT-5 cable. I asked if the locking tab was broken off the end. -

Old Technology  
- Calculators with tapes, asterisk for total - but why? How did '*' and diamond come to mean that? -

- Computer literacy varies widely. Sadly, so does intelligence and belligerence. A lack of one and and excess of the other can lead to amsusing results. -

GWT (Global Warming Temperature)  
- A solution for the global warming controversy: At lunch today my sister and I discussed various geekish subjects include VMware, Progress database semaphore usage, and customers who do amazingly stupid things like backing up their databases to the very same hard drive their application runs on. -

Welcome to Unix   2012/05/31 BigDumbDinosaur
- So you want to be a Unix or Linux geek? That's great news, because frankly we need new blood. In the old days, while we were riding high and Windows was a puny little joke, we'd sneer at supplicants - no more! -

Routers and switches and hubs, oh my!  
- What has bitten me now and then is stray routers employed as switches. At one customer, I've been bitten three times by the same old router. I took the darn thing out of service years ago and replaced it with something better, but told the IT guy to keep it because, what the heck, it's a quick swap-in spare if his current router were to fail. -

Through a Window (Darkly)  
- 1991 review of Windows 3.0 and Microsoft Paintbrush. This is another ancient (January 1991) article dug up from an old pile of papers. -

Dude, you should have bought the HP  
- The Windows guy had already spent a lot of phone time with Dell. His summary of that was a muttered "Idiots", so it's my guess that they weren't a lot of help. -

C Pointer Problems   2011/04/18 TonyLawrence
- If a program works under a debugger but crashes otherwise, the problem is almost always an uninitialized pointer. -

Computer Fax Software.. circa 1991  
- Patriot combination Fax/Modem : Computer Fax Software.. circa 1991 -

Set Startup..  
- Hey, do you know anything about DOS: I was walking through the corridors of a customer's building, on my way to some real or imagined emergency, when a voice called out from an office I was passing. -

Google Maps Beta  
- This app is surprisingly fast and has obvious features other map servers lack. The first thing I did was type in Boston, MA which is pretty close to home. -

Troubleshooting: Try something different  
- I'm also full of horse manure. To this day, I have no idea why that server was causing everything to reboot. I have no idea why I yelled at the three Mac experts (as it turned out, all three were Mac consultants) to shut that server down. -

You may discover things about Microsoft  
- After you set up Windows Firewall in XP SP2, you may discover that anyone on the Internet can access resources on your computer when you use a dial-up connection. -

Goodbye, AOL  
- At one time, way back in the mists of time, I had an AOL account. I never really used it - when I signed up, I already had internet access elsewhere. I just wanted it for the odd circumstance where they might have something I needed. -

But I don't have an email password  
- This was prompted by a call from my sister-in-law who complained "Some of my email still goes to my old computer". -

Dead Rat fixes computer problem  
- This is a story of how a dead rat solved a problem. I still don't know what the problem is, but, thanks to a dead rat or two, I do know what the problem isn't. -

Cartoons:Inspiring Confidence  
- Inspiring Confidence - don't hum 'If I only had a brain' while working on our computer. -

Cartoons:Server Down  
- I guess it's funny to me because I actually found something much like this once when the message was 'the server is down'.. -

Ships that pass in the night  
- We had just come on from Rte 495, and were almost at the first rest stop when a red pickup truck with the licence "IM ROOT" passed us. -

Exactly as I requested  
- Last week I went on site to help stage a new server for a company where the only tech person had taken a new job. The day I arrived was actually his last day, and no new person had even been interviewed yet, and he wanted to get the new server at least functional if not actually deployed before leaving. Unfortunately, we ran into some problems: hardware we wanted to add to the system required longer cables and power cable extenders and even though I do carry a lot of that kind of thing in my trunk, we just couldn't quite make it work no matter how we rearranged things. No place close by had what we needed, so we decided I would just have to come back another day to finish it up on my own. No problem, I said, just make sure the server is where I can find it. The departing tech assured me it would be "right here", so I shook his hand, wished him luck, and went off to do something else -

Candidates Web Sites  
- Linux is a commie computer system for liberals - or so some Republican candidates may think. -

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