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© May 2019 Anthony Lawrence

Reporting that Google CEO Eric Schmidt Joins Apple Board of Directors has caused speculation that Google and Apple will be joining forces; perhaps integrating iTunes with Google Video and so on.

Through the use of little known investigative tools, this reporter has discovered that the partnership is headed in a more permanent direction. While unable to disclose my sources or methods, I can tell you that both "Gapple.com" and "Goople.com" were registered in 2004, years before this announcement. Not only is this true, but "Googlesoft.com" was registered two years earlier! Obviously this can only mean one thing: Google intends to crush Microsoft by joining forces with Apple and then, after Microsoft stock plummets, will swoop in and buy up the remnants.

That's what "they" would like you to believe, anyway. More intelligent people (that's you and me, boopy) can see behind the curtain. Or the veil, or whatever the heck they use to bamboozle and confuse us. We see through you, Google, or whoever you really are. That's right, oh mighy do-no-evil megacorp, you slipped up when you released Eric "Schmidt"'s picture with the above referenced article. If "Eric" (if that's even his real first name) isn't Bill Gates brother, I'm a washed up old Unix hack.

So, here's the real skinny: Google and Microsoft have been related by blood all along. We cognoscenti always wondered why Google was so friendly to Microsoft, the supposed "enemy". Why would the "Do no evil" company provide software that runs on the "Evil Empire" platform and delay ports to Mac? Well now we know, don't we, "Eric"? This latest move simply is infiltration of Apple's board with intent toward disruption.

It's all so clear now. "Do no evil", ha. With just a simple algorithm that I designed in a mere four hours last night, that transforms to "We do evil". I bet "Eric" will be surprised that I figured out the code, but no doubt he underestimates my brilliance.

Now that I have exposed this nefarious plot, what now? How can we protect ourselves? Rest assured, fellow aluminum skull cap wearers, I have turned my massive brainpower toward this issue and expect to have a solution soon. I have aready made progress, and can tell you that I have discovered an unknown "Open Source" operating system known as "Linux". This newcomer may be our salvation. Stay tuned for more details.

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-> Gapple


Inexpensive and informative Apple related e-books:

Take Control of Automating Your Mac

Are Your Bits Flipped?

El Capitan: A Take Control Crash Course

Take Control of iCloud, Fifth Edition

Take Control of Parallels Desktop 12

More Articles by © Anthony Lawrence

Mon Sep 4 01:02:49 2006: 2437   BigDumbDinosaur

If "Eric" (if that's even his real first name) isn't Bill Gates brother, I'm a washed up old Unix hack.

There is an uncanny resemblance, no? If they are related, let's hope that Eric isn't infected with whatever it is that turned Gates into a greedy, amoral SOB.

Wed Sep 6 00:57:33 2006: 2441   drag

Well I think that it goes far far deeper then you could imagine.

You all have heard many times about Google's fabled web2.0 online office suite right? The Google Microsoft Office-killer?

Well now we know why this fabled super software has yet to be released as even beta software! (disregarding the rather puny online word proccessor purchased from a different company)

Google is in bed with Apple and their Eric is obviously releated to Bill.. Microsoft has the largest Apple development community outside Apple itself.

So it's obvious: The goal is world domination. A eventual coup were these 3 companies simply take over everything.

Microsoft: There software runs on the worlds computers. Hidden back doors will allow them to control EVERYTHING, from your kid's school science project results to the word processor on the President's desk.

Google: Subtly manipulates search results and cache's all the world's information. Once all the other search engines are either gone or using Google's engines their control over humanity will be almost complete. Undisirable and damaging information will simply "unexist".

Want to see the results of their pilot program for China?
Regular unedited images result for 'Tiananmen Square':
Images of chaos, destruction, and oppression during a student pro-democracy demostration.

Now the 'government friendly' disinformation search results via google china.
Vacation photos!! Oh what a small difference between 2 or 3 little characters.

Welcome to 1984!

As for Apple?

Well if your going to rule the world aren't you going to want a cool computer interface to do it with? Of course you do and so do 'they'. Plus Apple is the true genius behind all of it. Faking their near destruction. Conviniently letting Steve Jobs go so he could create a nice Unix system with OpenStep API they could use to build the basis for their final success. Going into deep alliances with Windows by releasing GUI concepts to Bill Gates, (oh sure they 'stole' it. Apple could of crushed Windows on a whim!) etc etc.

It's the truth dammit!


Wed Sep 30 22:28:02 2009: 7024   TonyLawrence

More evidence:

Gizmodo says Apple is going to "Redefine Newspapers, Textbooks and Magazines" :

Google Wave invitation start going out today: (link)

The description of what newspapers will be sounds an awful lot like Google Wave:

"an entirely new way to convey information, one that incorporates dynamic elements (audio, video) with static elements (text, photos) plus the ability for the "audience" to become content creators, not just content consumers."

Ayup: Gapple :-)


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