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Who is Louella Slaton (and why do I get her email)?

For some time now, I have been getting email directed to Louella Slaton. That's obviously a mistake both on grounds of gender and appellation, and therefore has been a cause of curiosity for me. Although I do sometimes use made up names for illustrative purposes in articles and other postings, the name "Louella Slaton" has never appeared in any post or correspondence of mine until today.

So why have I been getting Louella's email for several years now?

I decided to investigate. I thought it would be hard to track down the real Louella Slaton, but in fact it wasn't hard at all. Google has exactly one match for "Louella Slaton" (in quotes) and that records her 1904 marriage:

Louella Slaton to Hayes Townsend 12 Jul 1904 (Some More Giles Co, TN, SLATON marriages, http://archiver.rootsweb.com/th/read/SLATON/1999-04/0924751979)

Even allowing for liberal Tennessee marriage age laws, Louella must have been born before 1900, which means she's well over one hundred years old now. I can't find out from Google if she divorced or Hayes has already passed, but the fact that she is using her maiden name tells us that one of these may have happened. I do know (from a Lions club newsletter) that Hayes was still alive and active in 2003, so we'll assume divorce. Or perhaps Louella, a strong spirited woman, never gave up her maiden name at all? Google knows all, but doesn't necessarily tell all.

Louella's occupation

We don't know much about Louella's life up to now. Most Google searches (Images, News, Froogle, etc) come up blank. Tantalizingly, the one that does not is a search in Google Books. This cryptic reference is returned:

Climatological Data
by United States. Weather Bureau, United States. Environmental Data Service, National Climatic Data Center (U.S.), Data, and Information Service United States. National Environmental Satellite, National Climatic Center
Page 23

Could this mean that Louella was a meteorologist for at least part of her career? Google tells us nothing more.

I can assume from the email I get that Louella still has good credit (email to Louella is shown in italics below):

louella slaton, I spoke yesterday, After further processing of your case we are glad to alert you of your approval.

louella slaton - $-300,550 at 3.15 percent for 10 Yrs

Louella slaton Positive info on your Equifax Credit File

That last email goes on to explain that Louella is in an ideal position to borrow on her real estate holdings if she desires. We don't know how much property she owns, but we do know that she is still actively trading stocks:

louella slaton - FALCON ENERGY Inc. (FCYI) Up (50.64 %)

I feel simply awful that this trading opportunity did not reach the person it was intended for - I think Louella would have jumped on that opportunity.

Louella's health

As you would expect at her age, Louella's health is not perfect:

Refill for louella slaton is ready.

I hope that she got that refill. I'm worried, though. Whether from advanced age or other medical problems, Louella apparently isn't paying close attention to financial details:

Greetings, louella slaton We have been trying to reach you. After Checking our documents, you have been overpaying by at least 49%

louella slaton This is our third approach to touch base with you about your request.

Louella falls on hard times

Of course she may be distracted by more pressing matters. These distressing emails tell a sad story:

louella slaton Director was just laid off

louella slaton Executive will be fired

louella slaton Executive will be on layoff

Apparently Louella is no longer capable of holding a job. Poor thing. Help is perhaps on the way, though:

How are you, louella slaton

As of Jan 2006 our University has opened a life experience degree program. We have three of the listed choices:

Associate Degree
Bachelor Diploma
Master's Diploma

Perhaps it is time for Louella to embark on a new career. Her credit is still good, she has real estate and stock holdings to carry her through the reeducation period; I'm sure she can do it.

Perhaps not. A slow real estate market and declines in stocks have apparently taken their toll.

louella slaton Chapter 11 conference scheduled

This is not good. Could the inattentiveness noted above been contributory here? Maybe she never did get that refill and her illness brought her to this low point. I feel somehow responsible.

A turn to crime?

But there is worse to come:

louella slaton Felonious Movements Noted

FWD: louella slaton Illegal Movements Taped

This is simply awful. A former woman of means, with excellent credit and large financial holdings, has been completely destroyed and has entered the criminal underworld.

Now at last the reason I get Louella's email is clear: Louella herself is responsible. In a desperate attempt to cover her criminal activities, she has attempted reverse identity theft: rather than stealing my identity, she is trying to impose her identity onto mine! How fiendishly clever this woman is, how diabolical. While she leads a life of crime in Tennessee, the authorities will be scrutinizing me.

It won't work, Louella. I'm on to your little game now. The best advice I can give to you is to surrender to the authorities now before you get in any deeper. There's still time to rebuild an honest life: those university degrees are available and your life experience certainly will make you valuable to any employer if you will only stop now and get back on the straight and narrow path.

You can do it, Louella, I know you can.

Got something to add? Send me email.


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© Anthony Lawrence

Sun Jun 25 13:26:33 2006: 2164   TonyLawrence

Help me track down Louella Slaton and bring her to justice. Post any new information of her activities here.

Sun Jun 25 15:46:00 2006: 2165   dhart

More likely that Tony is receiving email meant for his mistress - from switchboard.com:

Louella Slaton
1324 N 33rd St # A
Milwaukee, WI 53208-2853
Phone: (414) 342-0726

Sun Jun 25 17:45:57 2006: 2166   TonyLawrence

Too old, too tired and too busy for a mistress.

So she's in Michigan now.. hmm.

Sun Jun 25 17:54:00 2006: 2167   TonyLawrence

Not to mention too cheap..

It strikes me that this "Michigan" sighting may be a red herring.. remember, this women is very clever - look at how she's has expunged most of her century plus life from the ever watching eyes of Google.

Mon Jun 26 14:34:54 2006: 2173   BigDumbDinosaur

...look at how she's has expunged most of her century plus life from the ever watching eyes of Google.

Not to mention the nosy bureaucrats in Washington DC who are checking your bank records for possible transactions involving Louella.

Mon Jun 26 19:28:04 2006: 2176   rbailin

(link) gives a slightly different picture:

Louella in Milwaukee at 31 is probably a bit too young, but
Louella of Decatur, GA at 53 sounds like the real deal.


Mon Jun 26 21:22:00 2006: 2178   TonyLawrence

This woman is nothing short of amazing. At least four net identities that we know of so far.. bankrupt, on the run from the law, and yet she still manages to weave a web of deception that probably spans the entire country!

Tue Jun 27 16:08:12 2006: 2180   BigDumbDinosaur

I'll bet she has a relative in the Nigerian Ministry of Finance who is, right now, trying to locate her so she can process a 20 million dollar windfall.

Mon Sep 24 22:29:53 2007: 3154   TonyLawrence

I have stopped getting Louella's mail.

I fear that something dreadful may have happened.

Tue Sep 25 15:25:29 2007: 3157   BigDumbDinosaur

I have stopped getting Louella's mail.

Perhaps it's because her 20 million dollar Nigerian transaction went through and she's now living high on the hog in Tahiti.

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