Don't you dare G**gle!

I don't want to get in trouble with Google's IP lawyers, so certain words that they wouldn't like will be masked. I know that's inconvenient, but what the **** am I supposed to do? The ******* lawyers already sent a ******* warning to the Washington Post, and I sure as **** don't want to be next.

The problem is that I'm not sure what ******** sins I might committed in the past. How many times have I casually told someone " ****** it" when I should have used more appropriate language? I just don't know, and my carelessness could cost me dearly.

"Ahh, ******, I know!" I said to myself. As all my pages here pass through a Perl script on their way to your eyes and ******* spiders, I could simply use substitution: "s/Googl/*****/gi".

That's ******* brilliant, I thought. But no, there's a ***** flaw there. Doing that would obfuscate legitimate ******* uses of Google's name, which would surely ******* confuse my readers. I could easily get rid of the "*****ed" and "*****ing" forms, and I might assume that lowercase ****** should be masked, but if even one upper case "Go ******* it!" snuck by me, I could be heading for ******* court.

Besides, it's not just here. I ******* post on news groups and leave ******** comments at other websites. I am ******* by my own words!

So.. all I can do is hope that the ****** lawyers have bigger ******* fish to fry. After all, I'm not rich: they can't get much from me. That ******* reminds me: I keep meaning to submit the Homestead Act paperwork. I better get on that today.

If you don't know what a Homestead Act declaration is, you could ****** it.

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