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Tony Lawrence: Bill's Diary
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A kindergarten class in one of our New England states has
sent Bill, a stuffed dog who looks something like Snoopy, on
an adventure. Bill is passed from person to person, and
wherever he travels, he sends pictures and postcards back to
the class, and also keeps a journal which (hopefully) will
return with him when he finds his way back home. The last
we heard, Bill had been cross country and back, and was on
his way to Japan!
We were honored to have Bill with us for a week, and while
he recorded his time with us in his journal, he also made
an unofficial entry which he decided not to include in the
official annals of his trip. As this entry may be of interest
to rec.nude, I have reproduced it here...
-----
Well, this is different. I'm now with Tony and Linda, and so
far they've been treating me pretty well. No food, which is
somewhat surprising, but I guess I can live on the granola
bars in my bag for a while. They seem like nice people. He's
some kind of computer geek, and I'm not really sure what she
does, but she straightened out my scarf, took some really
cute pictures of me, and gives me lots of hugs. The geek
mostly ignores me, and has been playing some stupid computer
game called "Doom". He seems to get a big charge out of shooting
these innocent German Shepherds that are guarding a castle or
something. It's really sadistic, but I guess it's only a game,
and other than that, he seems nice, too.
----
Did I say nice??? Boy, did I have the wool pulled over my eyes!
After taking a few pictures (in which I was just *incredibly*
cute), these s.o.b's stuffed me back in my travel bag UPSIDE
DOWN with my poor nose jammed into my journal. It took me
almost twenty minutes to get wriggled around to where I could
write comfortably. Geez, no class at all, but there is something
much worse..
I could hear them talking to each other. It's a little hard
to hear when you are stuffed in a bag, but I am a dog, and my
ears are pretty big. These "nice" people are planning to
take me to a NUDIST camp!
Omigod. Yes, I'm naked, except for my scarf, but *I* don't
have any private parts to cover up, do I? This is absolutely
the grossest and most disgusting thing I have ever heard of
in my life.
----
Friday night they had me out for a few more pictures. I
tried to bark an alarm call in the hopes that someone will
rescue me, but nobody came. I guess Mighty Dog doesn't
hang around this part of the country.
Then they shoved me back in my bag, UPSIDE DOWN yet again, and
tossed me in the trunk of their car! Oh, horrid fate! Here
I am, bouncing around with this damn tool box and a bunch of
windshield washer fluid bottles, and a whole bunch of soda and
beer cans, and I'm on my way to a NUDIST camp!
I hate my life! Why did I ever agree to this? These people
are AWFUL!
---
My goodness, what a long ride! We are apparently there, because
they unpacked me (!), and have now tossed me into a corner of
this ugly little camper. THEY have gone to the "fire", wherever
that is, but it must be close by because I can hear them laughing.
Before they left, they got absolutely butt naked. I thought I
was going to barf!
At least they left me here.
---
Oh, I guess I spoke too soon. I barely finished writing that
when the geek came back, yanked me out of my bag, and hauled
me down to the fire! There were a whole bunch of people
there, most of them buck naked, all drinking, and singing, and
telling jokes. I got passed from hand to hand, and I have to
tell you that most of the women were really nice, and petted
me, and some of them hugged me, and they all said I was
cute (which I am!), and if it weren't for the fact that
every one of them was naked as a jay bird, I probably would
of enjoyed it.
Well, actually, I did enjoy it. Just a little bit.
After a while, they brought me back, put me in upside right
for a change, and we all went to bed. I stayed up for a
while to write this, and I can still hear people at the
fire, even though these two goons are snoring so loud.
---
Saturday morning dawned bright and cheerful. They got up, naked
as usual, and made bacon and eggs. Didn't offer me a thing, just
left me in my bag, and the smell of that bacon about drove me
insane. What is wrong with these people? No manners whatsoever!
---
I spent some time on the deck outside the camper. This is really
a pretty place. It's up on a mountain, and there are lots of
trees and green grass, and from here I can look down into the
valley below, and honestly, I could have just sat there all day.
Lots of naked people walked by, and some of them came up on the
deck and admired me. You know, after a while, you start to get
used to people being nude. It's really not so awful, it's just
a little different. Everybody is so friendly.
---
Wow. Last night they took me to the dance for a little while. That
was really fun. Funny thing, most people get dressed for the dance.
Here I'm finally getting used to seeing people nude, and then they
all get dressed up. Well, it was fun, anyway.
It's almost time to leave. I'm really kind of sad. This is really
a fun place, and it's so pretty, and peaceful, and the people are
really nice, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with people
being naked and I really do not understand why I ever thought
that there was.
--
Bill
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