o Ruth, daughter of Jesus, ruled for sixty years. Her wisdom
was praised, and the people prospered. She taught them the
use of the spear, and the bow, and much game was caught and
the people were fat.
o Ruth taught rotation of crops, and the harvest was bountiful,
and the people praised Ruth and prayed for her soul.
o Ruth taught the washing of hands, and not to defecate upstream,
and full cooking of pork, and the people were healthy and
praised Ruth and prayed for her soul.
o Ruth taught the virtue of Law, and trial by a jury of peers,
and sat as judge, and her fairness was praised, and the
people prayed for her soul.
o In her sixtieth year of rule, Ruth taught the people that women
should not be beaten, and were equal to men in the eyes of the
Moon Goddess.
o And the people prayed for her soul, and stoned her, and tore
her body asunder, and left the scraps for the dogs.
o Then Paul went out into the wilderness, and the Holy IPU was
there, and Paul fell to his knees and was blinded by her
Pinkness.
o The Holy IPU spake unto Paul. "Man, go away. I blow my nose
on a dung heap, come back four billion years later, and the
place is crawling with you horrid, ugly things. I have not
the slightest interest in you or anything you do, and the sooner
you catch on, the better off you will be. Now go away."
o And Paul went away, and he slept, and he dreamt, and in his
dream Invisible Pal came to him in a burning bush, and promised
him much power and riches, and free choice of comely women, if
Paul would lead his people into the promised land.
o And in the dream, Invisible Pal gave Paul one hundred rules that
the people must follow, and two hundred rituals that they must
practice every day, and promised again that Paul could have
whatever women he would choose.
o And Paul awoke, and thought upon his dream, and could not remember
the hundred rules, nor the two hundred rituals, but he kneweth
that he should lead his people through the wilderness, and he
kneweth that he would get his choice of women.
o And Paul thought briefly of the IPU, but decided he would know
her not, and he took up some clay tablets and inscribed upon
the clay everything that he could remember that Ruth had said,
but not the heresy concerning women, and he baked the tablets
and brought them back unto the people and proclaimed that
Invisible Pal had given him the tablets upon a high mountain,
and had threatened the people with locusts and floods, and the
people listened, and were awed, and groveled most virtuously,
and the women looked upon Paul as marked by Invisible Pal,
and wished to be closer to him.
o Paul led his people into the wilderness, and after many days
of travel they came unto the land of the Balthazites. And
the land was fair, the fruit grew heavy upon the trees, and
the forest abounded with animals, and the Balthazites were
friendly unto Paul's people, and welcomed them, and bade
them welcome, and to share in their food and thir plenty.
o But the Balthazites knew not Invisible Pal, and knew not
the Moon Goddess, and knew not the Sun God, and laughed
at Paul when he made Invisible Pal known unto them.
o And Paul warned them of the locusts and the floods, and
other dire consequences, but the Balthazites said to Paul
that they had survived locusts, and had survived floods,
and did not need an Invisible Pal.
o So Paul drew up his army, and he slew the Balthazites, slew
their warriors, slew their women, slew their maidens, and
slew every child in its crib and every dog on its leash.
o And the people rejoiced, for they saw the power of Invisible
Pal, and knew that it was good, and just, and that the
Balthazites would not be tormented by locusts and floods.
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