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A few weeks ago I was riding on a train and I got to talking with the guy in the seat across from me. He was a nerdy type; turned out to be a fricking mathematician working on some guvmint project. Probably hauling down big bucks for doing nothing, and working class stiffs like me pay for this crap.

Anyhow, straight off I asked him if he was saved. I figured I knew the answer already, and sure enough, the geek is an atheist. I almost puked.

So I says to him, "Whaddya figure the chances are of this train crashing before we get to Albany?", and he kind of stares of into space a second and pops back with "Probably less than one in ten thousand."

So I says, "Well, if God told you not to take this train, wouldn't you fall down on your knees and accept Christ?"

Well, he gives me this look like the commie liberals always do when you hit 'em with something they don't know how to answer. They think they're so fricking smart, but when the rubber hits the road they shut their fat mouths pretty fast, don't they?

Finally he starts giving me some crap about this Polish guy who made a bet with God, and was trying to tell me that was what I was trying to say. Yeah, like with God at my side I'm having trouble knowing what to say! I about laughed my ass off.

So I gave him a couple of quick Bible verses (that CDROM self study program really paid off!) and hit him with a couple of good Rush quotes for good measure. That shut him up pretty good, I'll tell you.

We rode along for awhile. I gave him some time to think about everything I had said, then I asked him once more, real nice like, "Are you ready to accept Christ as your Saviour?". He looks at me and actually had the balls to laugh!

I reached across and grabbed the little shit by the collar and laid him right out in the aisle. People were screaming and yelling for the conductor, but I whacked him a couple of good ones and then put my foot right on his skinny athiest neck and said, "OK, Mr. Wise-Ass, are you ready to accept God now?". I let up with the pressure so he could answer me, and the wimpy little jerk said "Yes".

There ain't no atheists on trains I'm riding on.