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A new creature has recently appeared in Usenet Forest. It's scientific name is believed to be Clueless Twit Huffmanus, but commonly it as known as the Nit.

Physically, the Nit might resemble a Weasel, but the Weasel is sleek, and well groomed, while the Nit is disheveled, and has a suspicious look in its eye. The Weasel may jump and skitter in excitement, but its normal movements are sooth and polished, while the Nit seems jerky and un- coordinated.

Some say the Nit is actually a Rat who is trying to look like a Weasel. Perhaps this is true.

The Nit appeared in the midst of a rather fun discussion between Ian, Tony, Rick and Scott. The Nit did what you might suppose a Nit would do: he nit-picked.

At first, it seemed that the Nit was only interested in Tony. He ran right up poor Tony's left pant leg, perched himself on Tony's shoulder, and begain looking for opportunities to look Wise.

"You said Matter when you meant Mass!", he chirped suddenly.

Tony turned his head and looked at the frazzled creature on his shoulder. The look on Tony's face plainly said "What the hell is This?", and at first he just tried to gently push the sad looking thing off his shoulder while commenting that the distinction did not matter in the context of the present discussion.

"You said Matter when you meant Mass!". The Nit had its mouth pressed right against Tony's ear, and was not speaking in the most gentle of tones.

Tony grabbed the thing and held it out at arm's length for a better look (Tony really should bring his reading glasses when visiting Usenet Forest, but then he probably did not expect to be examining Nits, did he?). The Nit was shaking its head from side to side, grinning insanely, and chanting something about Hamburgers.

Very slowly and carefully, Tony put the Nit down in the grass. Brian Clark kicked it gently to encourage it to move along, but it just squatted down and began singing some incredibly silly song that no one could quite follow.

Rick was assaulting Tony with various Taunts that he had found in an old book someone had left under a tree. One of the Taunts happened to have reference to whatever it is Tony does in the Real World, and Rick probably knew that, and actually thought (perhaps correctly) that this made it an even better Taunt than it might have otherwise have been.

Tony didn't think it had a damn thing to do with the subject at hand, and he made a small joke by way of rebuttal. Not a great joke, you understand. Nothing that you'd take back to the office telling your officemates "Hoo-boy, that Tony sure got off a good one today! 'Bout split my sides, I tell ya!". No, nothing like that. Just a wry little comment on reality, more of a feint than a jab, really nothing at all.

But the Nit, being of the sub-gender Clueless, interpreted Tony's little parry as ignorance, and pounced on Tony's shoe, squealing "Right by your head! Right by your head!", or something very like that.

Our readers may wonder why Tony didn't just field kick the scrawny thing back into the forest. I'm almost certain such a thought crossed his mind; you could see it in his eyes.

But there was something else there in the Big Guy's countenance. Some Tenderness, some Forbearance. Amazingly enough, Tony exhibited Patience, and merely patted the Nit upon the head and spoke to it in at least relatively gentle tones. Bystanders were quite astonished, I can tell you that.

It remains to be seen whether Nits can be housebroken. Tony seems to think that this one has at least some engaging features, and would like to see it tamed, cultured, and educated. There have been, however, some warnings of that might indicate that not everyone shares that desire.

Life will continue in Usenet Forest. THe weather is warming, the virtual bees are humming in the virtual flowers, and the virtual trees still wave in the virtual breeze. The atheists at the end of O'Hare lane still chatter in the clearing. Pooby still sits on his rock, still in his straight-jacket, still talking mostly to himself.

Many a strange creature wanders in and out of here. The Nit is just one more.