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A bunch of us work out at Hard Knox gym, over on the South Side, across the tracks. This is a man's gym, none of that Stairmaster crap, just raw iron and plenty of it. There are a few women who work out here, but they are serious hard body types, the kind of women who use 2 1/2 pound plates for earrings. Just kidding, ha ha.

Anyway, a while back we all discovered our shared belief in Jesus, our Lord and Saviour, so we started doing these little half hour prayer sessions after our workout. You know, Jesus is the buffest dude of all, and any time is a good time for prayer, and we all just thought it was a Cool Thing to do.

So we're all kneeling around the incline bench, hands folded, and I'm leading the prayer, when out of the corner of my eye I notice this geek looking at us like we're a bunch of fags or something. He was definitely not a regular, not with that Spandex outfit and those matchstick arms. Looked like a g.d. yuppie liberal to me, fancy twenty dollar haircut and all.

I didn't interrupt the prayers, but afterward I walked right up to the pencil neck creep and asked him if he had some problem with Jesus. The little ACLU bastard just about turned white and muttered something about "separation of Church and State".

Hah. The yuppie moron didn't know that I listen to Christian Radio all the time, so I am very educated and quite intelligent on these matters. So I flat out told him that the Constitution never said any such thing, which it doesn't, and he looks at me all confused like, and gives me the "establishment of religion" line, like I've never heard that one before.

So I explained to him what that really means, which is that Congress isn't supposed to make any laws that interferes with any established church. In other words, don't make no laws that affect churches, which is just exactly what it says, you know, so actually all these commie laws prohibiting churches from telling people how to vote and all are really unconstitutional, and someday when we get all the g.d. liberal freaks out of the Supreme Court, we'll be able to fix those things.

Now I could have just popped him. He deserved it, him and his freako liberal attitudes, but I believe it's more important to educate these assholes than to beat them up, even though they should be beaten up. So that's why I took the time to tell him this stuff rather than just creaming him.

The guy's mouth just drops open and his eyes got all wide. That's usually what happens when these geek yuppies meet an educated person like me: they are just blown away, and have nothing to rebut with.

So, I left him there, and walked out into the parking lot, and I saw his pretty yuppie Volvo sitting there. Had to be his, 'cause none of us drive shit like that.

It didn't look so pretty after I ran my keys down the side.

Fricking yuppie commie freaks. I hate 'em.