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Tony Lawrence: catch 22

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Gawd the Almighty Mufwic does not want his disciples ascending to the Pearly Gates too easily.

In his infinite wisdom, The Grand Fool has designed us to be easy prey to Sin. Unfortunately, by the Gentlemen's Agreement of Universal Concordance Date 4309875.78, the Old Thunderer has been forced to admit this Design Defect, and has had to modify his Original Intentions.

In the Gentlemen's Agreement, Gawd stipulated that he had in fact deliberately set up what is now called a Catch-22. By designing us to be highly sexual, and yet at the same time treating matters of sexuality as sin, the Product (that's how the GA refers to us) finds itself between a rock and a Hard Place.

It was therefor agreed (with much legalese) that although the Product would not be directly informed of the Rule Change, the Rules would in fact be modified. The net result is that it now takes a hell of a lot more sinning to be denied access to the Promised Land.

As those who are familiar with the Territorial Disputes of 23908.71 are well aware, Promised Land real estate is at a premium these days. There is, as always, construction under way, but as all good Christians know, it took seven days just to make this backwater Orb. Extending ethereal space is even more demanding, and the Old Booger cannot devote all his time just to that.

Although not mentioned in the GA (nor, indeed in any of the rest of the Canon), there is a tacit understanding that Gawd never expected the Product to be able to meet his standards. Evidence to that is found in the Original Specs for Heaven, showing a set aside of less than 100 acres for future expansion! For comparison, note the Original Specs for Hell. The contrast is plain, as is the implication.

The GA upset this by allowing many more Qualified Entrants. Gawd, never at a loss for Inspiration, countered this threat by allowing the invention of Penicillin, refrigeration, and Air Bags, along with a number of other things designed to extend the Product's life span.

Although the Deluded Products may see these things as evidence of Gawd's Good Will, the careful student observes a more sinister desire at work here. The longer the Product lives, the more Sin it can accumulate. From Gawd's point of view, this means less time constructing Heavenly Real Estate.

Gawd does not want the faithful to accellerate their day of judgement. He wants them right here, exposed to lust. Be aware that nothing in the GA rescinds the "lust in your heart" rules. There was some argument against that, but it is still fully in effect. This alone is probably the largest damping effect there is on the mounting pressure of Qualified Entrants.


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