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Tony Lawrence: Bill's Diary

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A kindergarten class in one of our New England states has sent Bill, a stuffed dog who looks something like Snoopy, on an adventure. Bill is passed from person to person, and wherever he travels, he sends pictures and postcards back to the class, and also keeps a journal which (hopefully) will return with him when he finds his way back home. The last we heard, Bill had been cross country and back, and was on his way to Japan!

We were honored to have Bill with us for a week, and while he recorded his time with us in his journal, he also made an unofficial entry which he decided not to include in the official annals of his trip. As this entry may be of interest to rec.nude, I have reproduced it here...

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Well, this is different. I'm now with Tony and Linda, and so far they've been treating me pretty well. No food, which is somewhat surprising, but I guess I can live on the granola bars in my bag for a while. They seem like nice people. He's some kind of computer geek, and I'm not really sure what she does, but she straightened out my scarf, took some really cute pictures of me, and gives me lots of hugs. The geek mostly ignores me, and has been playing some stupid computer game called "Doom". He seems to get a big charge out of shooting these innocent German Shepherds that are guarding a castle or something. It's really sadistic, but I guess it's only a game, and other than that, he seems nice, too.

----

Did I say nice??? Boy, did I have the wool pulled over my eyes! After taking a few pictures (in which I was just *incredibly* cute), these s.o.b's stuffed me back in my travel bag UPSIDE DOWN with my poor nose jammed into my journal. It took me almost twenty minutes to get wriggled around to where I could write comfortably. Geez, no class at all, but there is something much worse..

I could hear them talking to each other. It's a little hard to hear when you are stuffed in a bag, but I am a dog, and my ears are pretty big. These "nice" people are planning to take me to a NUDIST camp!

Omigod. Yes, I'm naked, except for my scarf, but *I* don't have any private parts to cover up, do I? This is absolutely the grossest and most disgusting thing I have ever heard of in my life.

----

Friday night they had me out for a few more pictures. I tried to bark an alarm call in the hopes that someone will rescue me, but nobody came. I guess Mighty Dog doesn't hang around this part of the country.

Then they shoved me back in my bag, UPSIDE DOWN yet again, and tossed me in the trunk of their car! Oh, horrid fate! Here I am, bouncing around with this damn tool box and a bunch of windshield washer fluid bottles, and a whole bunch of soda and beer cans, and I'm on my way to a NUDIST camp!

I hate my life! Why did I ever agree to this? These people are AWFUL!

---

My goodness, what a long ride! We are apparently there, because they unpacked me (!), and have now tossed me into a corner of this ugly little camper. THEY have gone to the "fire", wherever that is, but it must be close by because I can hear them laughing. Before they left, they got absolutely butt naked. I thought I was going to barf!

At least they left me here.

---

Oh, I guess I spoke too soon. I barely finished writing that when the geek came back, yanked me out of my bag, and hauled me down to the fire! There were a whole bunch of people there, most of them buck naked, all drinking, and singing, and telling jokes. I got passed from hand to hand, and I have to tell you that most of the women were really nice, and petted me, and some of them hugged me, and they all said I was cute (which I am!), and if it weren't for the fact that every one of them was naked as a jay bird, I probably would of enjoyed it.

Well, actually, I did enjoy it. Just a little bit.

After a while, they brought me back, put me in upside right for a change, and we all went to bed. I stayed up for a while to write this, and I can still hear people at the fire, even though these two goons are snoring so loud.

---

Saturday morning dawned bright and cheerful. They got up, naked as usual, and made bacon and eggs. Didn't offer me a thing, just left me in my bag, and the smell of that bacon about drove me insane. What is wrong with these people? No manners whatsoever!

---

I spent some time on the deck outside the camper. This is really a pretty place. It's up on a mountain, and there are lots of trees and green grass, and from here I can look down into the valley below, and honestly, I could have just sat there all day.

Lots of naked people walked by, and some of them came up on the deck and admired me. You know, after a while, you start to get used to people being nude. It's really not so awful, it's just a little different. Everybody is so friendly.

---

Wow. Last night they took me to the dance for a little while. That was really fun. Funny thing, most people get dressed for the dance. Here I'm finally getting used to seeing people nude, and then they all get dressed up. Well, it was fun, anyway.

It's almost time to leave. I'm really kind of sad. This is really a fun place, and it's so pretty, and peaceful, and the people are really nice, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with people being naked and I really do not understand why I ever thought that there was.

-- Bill




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