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Tony Lawrence: No sex on the beach

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POPEYEALAN (popeyealan@aol.com) wrote:

: there is a fundamental problem in perception here! nudist resorts that are
: affiliated with any national groups DO NOT EVER HAVE OPEN DISPLAYS OF SEX.


And there is a problem that is obviously in need of a solution.

Since there are so many posting here who apparently would like to see OPEN DISPLAYS OF SEX, and since nudist clubs are not well positioned to provide this service, my wife and I see a business opportunity.

Our bedroom is not large, but there is ample room for three adults to stand at the foot of our bed. We have tentatively set the price for this position at $28.00 per adult.

There is no room on the right hand side at all. However, there is a window there, and we will leave the shade up. We feel two people could easily peek in from there, and the charge will be $15.00, except in case of inclement weather, when it will be $12.00.

There is room for seven to eight average side adults along my side of the bed. The charge here is $22.00 as it is universally agreed that I am not nearly as interesting as my wife. There is also one sitting position in the lower left hand corner. As this provides comfort in addition to a great view, the charge will be $32.00. No touching allowed at any price.

At least three or four people could stand in the hall and peer in through the door. We feel this is a little better than the window position, and offers the advantage of heat, so the charge will be $18.00.

We normally retire about 8:00 PM. After we have undressed and gotten into bed, the audience may QUIETLY take their positions.

We make no guarantees as to when the show will start, or indeed if there even will be a show on any given night. No refunds will be made if we are tired, decide to go out, or just are in a bad mood. Neither will refunds be made for failing to kick off the covers or performing in a desultory fashion.

If the show has not commenced by 9:00, the audience should leave QUIETLY and there will be no grumbling if the show was not up to expectations.

Flash cameras and VCR's are expressly prohibited.


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