Tech Quotes

From Bill Gates to Janet Reno, everybody has something to say about computers and technology. Some of my favorites:

Anyone who puts a small gloss on a fundamental technology, calls it proprietary, and then tries to keep others from building on it, is a thief. (Tim O'Reilly)

I've noticed lately that the paranoid fear of computers becoming intelligent and taking over the world has almost entirely disappeared from the common culture. Near as I can tell, this coincides with the release of MS-DOS. (Larry DeLuca)

Adequacy is sufficient. (Adam Osborne)

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. (Joseph Campbell)

That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers. (Larry Niven)

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. (Dave Barry)

After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy. (John Pierce)

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. (Scott Adams)

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. (Andy Rooney)

I had a life once. Now I have a computer. (unknown)

I said that 30 years ago! Why does no one ever listen to me ? (Alan Kay)

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. (Pablo Picasso)

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. (Thomas Watson, Chairman of IBM, 1943)

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. (Emo Philips)

Standards are always out of date. That’s what makes them standards. (Alan Bennett)

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. (Mitchell Kapor)

If you think your users are idiots, only idiots will use it. (Linus Torvalds)

The Internet? We are not interested in it. (Bill Gates, 1993)

The difference between theory and practice is that in theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. (Richard Moore)

I think it’s a new feature. Don’t tell anyone it was an accident. (Larry Wall)

Java is the most distressing thing to hit computing since MS-DOS. (Alan Kay)

Perl: The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption. (Keith Bostic)

UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity. (Dennis Ritchie)

The computer is a moron. (Peter Drucker)

Every piece of software written today is likely going to infringe on someone else's patent. (Miguel de Icaza)

Your computer needn't be the first thing your see in the morning and the last thing you see at night. (Simon Mainwaring)

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. (Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of DEC)

640K ought to be enough for anybody. (Bill Gates)

Any teacher that can be replaced with a computer, deserves to be (David Thornburg)

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. (Albert Einstein)

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works. (Douglas Adams)

AOL is like the cockroach left after the nuclear bomb hits. They know how to survive. (Jan Horsfall, VP of Marketing for Lycos)

Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems. (Linus Torvalds)

There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We do not believe this to be a coincidence. (Jeremy S. Anderson)

The only problem with the cloud is that at some point it will rain. (Reinhard Posch)

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. (Arthur C Clarke)

There are only two hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation and naming things. (Phil Karlton)

Being able to break security doesn’t make you a hacker anymore than being able to hotwire cars makes you an automotive engineer. (Eric Raymond)

Securing a computer system has traditionally been a battle of wits: the penetrator tries to find the holes, and the designer tries to close them. (Gosser)

I am not out to destroy Microsoft, that would be a completely unintended side effect. (Linus Torvalds)

Two years from now, spam will be solved. (Bill Gates, 2004)

The problem of viruses is temporary and will be solved in two years. (John McAfee)


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© Tony Lawrence




---September 13, 2004

I also liked this one from http://www.sysprog.net/quotos.html


Develop for it? I'll piss on it. [the NeXT Computer] (Bill Gates)

--TonyLawrence

"If MacDonalds were run like a software company, one out of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning -- and the response would be, 'We're sorry, here's a coupon for two more'. (Mark Minasi)"

Gee. I wonder who he had in mind when he said that? Of course, one out of every hundred sounds low. How about 25 or 30 out of every hundred?

--BigDumbDinosaur


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Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. (Arthur Conan Doyle)

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